Sorry i haven't blogged in so long. i'm lame.
Okay, i have a problem, nobody i've ever known besides my sister can understand and most people tell me to just get over it. i have an intense fear of groups of people. i don't know what it is but when i'm around a lot of people and they're all doing their thing i can't deal. i feel like crying all day in the hallways at school but i just put on a happy face and suck it up. usually i can do that and nobody notices that i'm a freak, but the other day i had a really bad time.
i was at nate szyman's graduation party and there were so many people and every one was talking at the same time and people were moving around me in opposite directions (weird, i know, but it freaks me out to the max), eventually i just escaped to the van and i hyperventillated for about ten minutes and then i cried for a while. i humbly ask the acception of my apology from the szymans, my mother, my father, and everyone else i may have offended that day.
i'm starting to freak out a little from thinking about that so i'm going to stop.
one more day of school left! you're all invited to my grad party if my mother hasn't already gotten to you
June 16th at 1pm until whenever mom says you have to leave
there's a dead roasted pig (ironic i know), a johnfire, and music. if you play you should come and jam! it's fun!! exclamaition points!!!
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
just another one of those darn kids with their rock 'n roll music...
just another one of those darn kids with their rock 'n roll music...
Me
Need a pet sitter?
My Pals
"I am a work in progress dressed in the fabric of a world unfolding offering me intricte patterns of questions rhythms that never come clean and strengths that you still haven't seen"
~Ani Difranco
4 comments:
I understand, I understand! You are NOT a freak! You are awesome and incredible and I hate crowds also. I have had many a panic attacks at grad parties and else where! Love you girlie and grab me next time you need to escape!
Farf
I am right there with ya, hon. Gads. Used to look forward to those, now I just float from room to room, trying to hum myself into my happy place. It took my nearly 40 years to figure out that it was ok NOT to like big groups of people, but it is. Don't let society try to squeeze you and make you fit. JUST SAY NO!
Had a scream with you at bowling!
Love you bunches!
I too hate big crowds! My husband's an extrovert and has to be very patient with me. I'm getting better but, I have to work myself up to function in a group. I don't think you sound like a "freak" at all. I myself would rather spend my time reading a book then talking with people any day. Congratulations on your graduation and your excellent internship.
You are spot on your sister understands- looks like plenty more do too. "hum myself into my happy place" - gotta be one of the best phrases ever typed. Lots of humor, lotsa truth.
One very cool side effect is that if someone knows us well, they will know what a compliment it is if we do show up to such an event and it's a good way to love them.
Post a Comment